My dad tells this story best - he was a stock car driver at the time - kind
of a low budget talagaga nights kind of thing. "He was about 3 years old.
We were still in the apartment up on route 39. One day Ricky is racing
around in his walker on the wood floor in the living room just tearing it up.
He came around a corner a little too outside and hit the end table next to the
coach and knocked my Playboy magazine to the floor. It opened to the
center fold page. I'm not sure if he stopped because he hit the table or
because he saw the center fold but all he said was "WOW", and that was his first
Which everyone knows WOW is MOM upside down.
Mom says that I was playing in the dining room all evening being a good boy
at age 3 and a half. I remember this one. Who wouldn't.
My parents were in the living room talking about sex. I didn't really
understand the stuff about the different positions - couldn't really imagine
what that could mean though I tried. b But they started talking about
French Kissing and well I knew about kisses - right? Grandma kissed
me hello and good bye, Mom kissed me good night. Something about using the
tongues in the other persons mouth - ok I got it. Later that evening my mom
came in to pick me up and put me to bed. She picked me up and gave me a
big kiss right on the lips and I stuck out my tongue with all my might and went
right in there. A muffled scream is all I heard as I plummeted
to the cold hard wooden floor below. She dropped me right on my ass.
I hated that French kissing stuff.
First Scrape with the Law: (this spot is intentionally
7th Grade. Boy did I mess this up. They had a thing in my school called the Sadie Hawkins Dance
- the idea was that the girls had to ask the guys out. Great - only no one
asked me out. The weeks went by and then right down to a couple of
days before the dance and no one asked me out. I was depressed and totally
in love with Beth who didn't seem to know I existed. I would try to say
hello but she pretty much ignored me. Not cool enough for her I guessed.
My heart ached for her though and there was nothing I could do to get her
A few days before the dance Rita came up to me in the hall between classes.
She was really shy and never really spoke to me, but she stepped right up and
asked me out to the dance. I was in shock. I didn't know what to
say. I wanted to go to the dance with Beth not Rita. But as the
words yes passed my lips, I thought to myself, well at least I got asked.
I didn't want to be the last man standing after teams were chosen.
Completely bewildered by the experience I moved on down
the hall with only my books for company. Karen came right up to me
and looked me in the eyes. She was as tall as I was - about 5'8" at the
time. Really pretty too. Should have said no but she was so pretty.
Sorry to all...